"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere." ~Glenn Turner
I am ridiculously superstitious. I’m the person who picks up pennies that are heads up, I make a wish on any eyelash that falls out and the first star I see at night. I honestly believe that if I send out a request for good vibes then the universe will hear it (see it?) (I dunno) and then the bad or good thing will be OK. Lately I have had an issue with feeling jinxed. If I give even a smidgen of a detail to a confidant then whatever it is that I want will be jinxed. I give up hope thinking that I have ruined it all - whatever it is - by even mentioning the great big thing that I hope for. Isn’t that sad? Or, better yet, pathetic? Possibly adding ‘very’ to that pathetic given that I am a damn near 30 year old woman who thinks that good things happen with a simple word from my lips to God’s - or whatever deity’s or higher power’s - ear. I managed to keep something to myself for three whole days before I burst at the seams. I mean, I had to tell someone. When I finally mentioned it to my mother this morning, I did so with a big sigh. “Now it’s not going to happen”.
“You’re like me. You think you’re jinxed and you’ve ruined it. You haven’t”, she said.
But I feel nervous, especially given the last several months of my life. The perpetually unbloggable.
Honestly, I don’t feel like I’m full of bad luck but more resigned to my fate. I want something so bad that I can taste it but the past is dictating my present. Perhaps I’m jinxed forever? I don’t know. I could just really use some good luck. I’m hanging by a thread over here.