"Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability". ~Sam Keen
Each year towards atend of July I’m forced into vacation. It’s mandatory and not ‘mandatory’ like I’ve chosen to do so for my health while the rest of my office slaves away. But ‘mandatory’ in that one year I attempted to work one day during the scheduled vacation and that got shot down with a swiftness. So now I’m very serious about Mandatory Vacation. The entire office is shutdown save for one poor soul who is on duty each day. On my first day of Mandatory Vacation my cell phone rang and when I saw it was the office I thought that someone had died my second thought was that the person on the other end of the line was bleeding from the head and I was the only one who could stop it.
It turned out to be my mother’s replacement so everyone wave hi!
Back to Mandatory Vacation. If I didn’t spend it alone and I wasn’t a woman of a certain age it would be Lord of the Flies up in here. Oh, who am I kidding. It was totally Lord of the Flies and twice I had wine for breakfast. Here is where I should be ashamed but I’m not.
So, the first rule but not really a rule of Mandatory Vacation is to drink all of the things.
The second is to eat all of the things.
Then sleep as much as humanly possible.
And finally lay out all day because you are five steps from the beach. Though perhaps I went a little overkill on the beach time because I’m about to star in Fifty Shades of Blackness.
Did you know that there are folks out there who find it odd when people vacation alone? It's true. And I want to be like, I'm single. It's not a disease. The earth won't spin off its access because I'm by myself. The beauty of traveling alone is that there's always a spot at the beach or a dockside bar. There's no wandering around the beach trying to make a place for three umbrellas, a tent and seven towels in perfect alignment with the sun. There's a seat at the counter of the best diner in town which means you can always get an order of pancakes with sausage between ass crack of dawn and 11. It means that your days can be spent first in running gear and then a bathing suit and does it matter if you haven't showered in a few (or four) days? No. Because the only person you're with is yourself. There were marathon viewings of the splendor that is Crazy Eyes and possible liver damage because Pinot does that to a woman.
Anyway, enough with the show and tell of my summer vacation? How are you? Did you eat all of the things because you should eat all of the things and your hips won't mind. Not even a little bit.